We all live through many different kinds of experiences; sometimes we can get in the way of our own happiness because we focus on thoughts that hinder happiness. We focus on what’s wrong, what’s missing, or on the negativity of a situation. If any of the following thoughts are running on a loop in your head, take note and then take steps to make some changes.
- I Don’t Like People – Many people, especially introverts, tend to focus their decisions on how many people will be around them. They tend to make decisions that aren’t necessarily in their best interest because they’re not comfortable with themselves in a group setting. Turn that thought around to participating in events but focusing on how you can give yourself care during anxious moments around people. It’s okay to be who you are, and sometimes setting a period of time and know what that is will help alleviate any anxiety around being with people for too long a time period.
- I Am Too ____ – Anytime you start a thought with, I am “too” anything, you’re likely to get yourself into trouble. For example, if you find yourself saying you’re too fat, too dumb, too old, too something — to accomplish a goal, it’s in your best interest to turn that around so you can set up doable steps that will get you to your goals. All you’re doing with that “I am too…” self talk is giving yourself permission to give up. Don’t do that; you’re worth much more than that.
- I’ll Do That When I ______ – You’ve probably said it before to yourself. “I’ll do that when I go back to school.” “I’ll do that when I clean the house.” “I’ll do that when I lose weight.” You know the drill. Unless you really need to do the thing in the blank, don’t allow it to get in your way. If you do need to do it, just make a step-by-step plan to get it done.
- I Can’t Do _____ – You may have heard your child, or yourself, or someone else say “I can’t do math.” Or “I can’t cook.” The truth is no one can do any of that without learning how to do it. No one just appears in life knowing how to cook, read, write or do math. We can learn pretty much whatever we set our minds to learn given the time and the effort to do it. Make something a priority, and then chunk it down into doable steps to move yourself toward mastery.
- Saying I Should ____ – Have you ever heard that it’s important not to “should” all over everyone? Not only is it a bad idea to create “shoulds” for others, it’s a terrible idea to create them for yourself.
- In the Past ___ – Dwelling on the past and what someone did to you in the past or what things were like in the past is not going to help you overcome self-sabotage. While it’s okay to use the past as a learning tool, it’s not acceptable to use it as an excuse not to move forward. Remember you are the one in charge of your life.
- In the Future ____ – Just like you don’t want to focus on the past, you also don’t want to be overly focused on the future. Be mindful not to do that to the exclusion of being present and living in your life today.
- If I Were More Like They Are – It’s never constructive to compare yourself to someone else in a negative way. It’s fine to look at what someone has accomplished, admire them for it and learn how to do it too. Benjamin Franklin said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Words to live by…
Whenever you find you’re focused on a negative aspect of any situation, try to turn your mind around to focus on and find the positives rather than dwelling on thoughts that hinder happiness. There are times in life when we all experience a sad or a negative time. That’s normal; that’s life. It’s about how you handle yourself and your thoughts the rest of the time that truly leads to more happiness.
Helping You Achieve Major Wellness!
Cheryl A Major
I am a Certified Nutrition and Wellness Consultant. My TV show, “Thin Strong Healthy”, airs on WestfordCat and is an offshoot of my blog http://ThinStrongHealthy.com I offer ongoing information, live and online courses and personal health coaching to help you feel better and be healthier. Follow me on Twitter @CherylAMajor.
My books, “Eat Your Blues Away” and “Major Upbeat Me” are now available on Amazon in both Kindle and paperback! Remember you DO NOT need a Kindle device to read this, and that the Kindle Reader is a no cost way to read books on your laptop, desktop, tablet, or phone.
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